So I is tricking mom into tinkin' dat mebbe I forgets how to do stairs. (She is eazy to trik.) Den she does sometin or da oder. She a) carried me evryware. b)puts nommies all over da stairs.
When she doos "a" I is in heven cuz den I is baebe dawg and she talked sweet to me and puts me on da blue blankie. Her sounded so sweet so I ignores da words - cuz da words are dis "Dang it, little dog. You have GOT to figure this BLEEP out. You are much smarter than this. If you think I am gonna do this forever you are good and mistaken Mr. Buddy". Wut I heers her say is dis "blah blah blah LITTLE DOG. blah blah blah SMART. blah blah blah GOOD blah Mr. BUDDY." Sigh, she sed I is GUD DAWG ::butt wiggle:: ::butt wiggle::. (Just soes you know gud dawgs doesn't sed notty words, so I sed bleep insted - cuz I is a gud dawg)
I doesn't like it when she does "b", I is hoped dat she stopped tryin dat one veeerrryy soon. I tryed to cried lots and looked pittyfool, but she din't listens. I wonders if she seed me be's pittyfool? Mebbe she shud goes to V.E.T to gets her eye cheked too, cuz she din't do nuthin 'bout my pitiful look.
First time she did nommies on da stairs I sed "Go go gatjet Buddy Dawg" and strechd sooo long, den I got nommies off two stairs and I didn't has to climb. I is so smart. Mom catched on fast tho, so next time she din'ts let me strechd. So on my try for da next nommies, I went sooo slow for da one stair, got my nommies and turned around fast. I wented so fast I runned strayt into da stair monster, and he push me down. I falled on my tummy. Gman sed I is yellow belly. I look at me belly after I falls and it is not yellow, it is pink. So mebbe he has da eye ishu too?
So den I was done! I isn't doin dat no mores, not even for steaks. Den mom leaved me on da mayn floor and sed "Well, you are going to have to learn. If you want to cuddle you will come to me." She wented and sitted on da cowch and made stubborned sound like dis "Harumph". She did not doos ::butt wiggle:: ::butt wiggle:: so I knowed she wus not joked about dis. Ha, she don't knowed it, but I is way more stubberend den she is.
Ahhhh, da blu blankie
Cuz I wants to be gud dawg I was gonna goes to her like she sayd to- but den da floor turned into sooper scary sooper dangerous STAIR MONSTERVILLE!! Eberywhere I turns der is stair monsters who wants to bited my toes. So I frozened still liek a stachew dawg and hopes mebbe dey don't sees me. It works ..... ..... .....Mom comes and gots me evenchewally. I is so much smarter den mom is, she shud lets me teeched her some tricks.
Oh, and mom putted my picture in a contest it is called "Cutest Dog". mom sed if I wins I gets to do two tings. I gets to get real live trayner to teeched her how to helps me (told you she wuz not smart hyoman) and I gets to help uder blind dogs wifout familyes gets operashuns so dat dey can be gud dawgs and finds a mom as gud as mine is. I would apreshiayt it if you voted for me. You cud vote once a day so vote lots pretty pleeze!! Here is da info: VOTE FOR BUDDY
Kisses and snuggles-Buddy Dawg.
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