Friday, June 25, 2010

Calling to order the first meeting of Sh*t Eaters Anonymous

Hullo, my naym is Buddy an' I iz a sh*t eetur.  Iz been 2 howers sins my last snakkies on da poo.  ::Hi Buddy::  Mom sed dis most delektabul treet iz not reely treet at all, iz most diskusting an' I bettur kwit.  Dis is why I joyn S.E.A.  I must brayk dis habit.  Furst step of S.E.A.

1.  We admit that we are powerless over sh*t - that our lives have become unmaneageable.

Well, dis is not all da way tru, see I liyks to eet da poo.  Da only stuffs wut is bettur is cheez.  Iz mom dat haz dis ishu.  Her iz alway say "Damnit Buddy, NO!"  "Buddy leave it."  Buddyyyyyyyyy - eh eh eh."  "Drop.  Drooooop. DROP IT!"
MMMMM, poo!!!

Harumph, I wud liyk to seed her drop a stayk or lobstur if I wud yelled at her.  No way, no how.  My liyk of da poo iz not unmanujibul eever.  I iz veree pickee on dis doodoo dat I chewchew. But ok mom, cuz I luv you - I will pawndur dis. 

Wut do you meen der is 12 steps????  Jeez.  Kin you not jus tayked my word?  Oh, rite - I sed I wud kwit eeted da poo before huh?  Ok, 11 more steps. We wud worked on wun step eech week until my deeziyr for poo is no more.  Dat iz most you kin asked of me, mom!

So, dis meeting of S.E.A. wud be tayk plays evury Friesday until I haz compleet all da steps and iz eet no more poo from da yard.  You, my bloggy frends, iz welkom to be membur if you wanted, but if you wud liyk to keep dem reefiyn tastes of da poo and no stop - trusted me, I gits it.
Are you a sh*t eater?  Well, are ya?

Also, last stuff for you wut is - - mom is leeve for SeeSiyd, Origun wen da sun comes up agin.  Sins she wud be goned we won't haz menne story of my advenchurs.  So we iz gonna do a "Ask Buddy Anything"!  You cud ask me (or my brudder dawg) kweshtuns abowt us and our life togever, or abowt trayning, or abowt bliyndees, or abowt why da sky is blew.  Wut ever you do wanted.  I wud answered dem kewshtuns all next week until mom getted home.

Kisses & Snuggles,
Buddy Dawg

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Dear mom part 2

Dear Mom,

As the little dog has said, we miss you.  Terribly.  We are sad without you here.  Since my brother's pitiful plea for your return has not worked, I am forced to go with a bribe.  In exchange for your swift return, I am prepared to pay you with one, extremely fun, slightly used tug toy.

Ok, how about ALLLL my favorite toys in the world?  Will you come home now?
Buddy interupts:  Wayt brudder, dat is yer most fayvorit stuffy toy wut you loves to played wif evry day!!!

Oh, right...... all the toys.....except this one. I need this one.
Come home mom, I miss you!

Maxim the Big Dawg

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dear Mom

Deer Mom,

I knowed you does da workstuffs so dat you cud byed me lotsa gud nommies and da big dawg all his stuffies.  We does appreshiayt dis.  But when you leeve for da trips, liyk dis week you iz goned away, we misses you.

You kin come home now?

Kisses & Snuggles,
Buddy Dawg

Thursday, June 10, 2010

An announcement and attack of the pollen

Hey! You! Ya, I'm takkin' to you!

First dis veree importunt messuj wut is dat All Hopped Up judg Timmy and Maxim haz annowns da winnurs!! Go chek it owt!
Fer today mom did wurked. Her do wurk from da desk 'puter heer at my hows sumtiym, and sumtiym her fly to all kind of plays wer littul dawg iz not allowd. Today wuz work at hows. You wud tink dat dis meen she getted to do lots more fun stuffs wif me but reely her sits at her desk and make phown call all day. Now dat I haz wut you kin call "Terror-sindrowm" I deesiyd I do needs more attenshuns. But I iz getting gud at tell wut tiym iz kwitting tiym too.

So now wen it getted clows to kwitting tiym for mom, me and my brudder do da danse for attenshun. (Mom call it terribul idea.) Da big dawg wud run to mom, putted nows in her fayc, den run to owtsiyd door and sed "Feedmefeedmefeedmefeedmefeedme". Den repeeted and repeeted.

Now I haz veree importunt rowl in dis danse wut is to sit by mom feet or on her lappy and spin in sircul and do whiney chipmonkey sownd and sed "I'm boooored. Mom. mom. mom. mom. I'm booooored. Mom. mom. mom." Den repeeted and repeeted.

As reeword for lerning dis new "terribul idea" wif my bruddur, she taked me owtsiyd to helped wif gardun stuff. Looking bak, dis wuz maybe punish me for da chipmoney sownds. I tink mebbe punish bekuz I wuz havin bestest tiym in da wurld smelling da new rowses. I wud sniffed, and sniffed, and sniffed...den...."KACHEW". Sniff. Sniff. KACHEW!!!

Look wut dem rowses did to my most beutiful nosespot.

Mom laff and sed I getted wud wuz comin' to me.

Kisses & Snuggles,
Buddy Dawg

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's all mom's fault.

FROM MOM:  You can blame me.  I suck at keeping up, even my sister yelled at me recently over Buddy's inactivity online.  I have many excuses, all of them good - none of them that you care about I am sure.  So, here we are again....where did we leave off? Oh ya, I let Buddy hype up a new trick and run a contest.  Then I thought to myself, how the hell do you teach a blind dog that you want him to jump straight up?  I mean, yes he's a terrier and terriers jump....but he hasn't jumped in years.  As in multiple. years.  Forget it, no way.  So I sat on my tush and said screw it, not even gonna try.  Then I disappeared off the face of the earth for a few months.  Whoops, sorry!

Until one day the most amazing thing happened.  Buddy got bored.  Those of us who own terrors. er. um terriers don't usually celebrate things like boredom - boredom usually comes at the cost of our brand new pair of expensive heels, or a couch leg, or maybe a couch.  Except when you have a dog who no longer wants to do anything.  The first time they are bored.  ZOMG priceless.  Anyway, here is Buddy - that's why you are here after all.

Hai der frends!  Well, da mom did getted da wormies in da lapdawg 'puter and it gotted broked - and her desk 'puter wud be a no dawg zown.  But I iz bak on lapdawg 'puter now cuz mom did fixed it. 

Wun day mom wuz watched her fayvorit show wut is Gray Unatowmee on da teevee.  Her din't do my triks for few days and her din't reely taked me owt to played in da grasses eethur.  So wun day I say "Enuf iz enuf".  So I did sitted on flowr and stayr at her.  How do blindy dawg stayr?  Liyk dis: 
Mom sed, "What's wrong?  You need outside? Outside? No?  Are you feeling ok?  GMan, I think he's sick!  Look how he is just sitting there looking at us. ...... Yes I know he can't look at us, he has no eyes!  But seriously, I think he's looking at us.  Kinda creepy!"

Her nevur getted wut I wuz sed so I getted closer and stayr hardest.  Liyk dis:

Mom sayd "Buddy, little dog, what's wrong?  Are you ok?  Is your tummy ok?  Let me see your paws - what is going on?"  Aftur her getted gud and worry I do ::playbow::wiggle::wag::wag::SNUFF::.   Mom said "Holy sh*!  I think he's saying he's bored!!!!"  So her gotted me nommies down and letted me do trayning wut maked my brayn growed strawnger, I wuz so happee I do wutever her wants me to lern.  Now mom knowed dat dis dupreshun is troolee all goned, and we do lotta stuffs liyk hunt in da gardun wif da big dawg and sniffed da wormies and helped mom pulled da weeds.  I evun gotted to go hiyk one day! 

Mom lerned her lessun and do not letted me get bored no mores.  Her thinked dat I jus do dem triks for her to be happee, and I wud rathur lay rownd lots liyk cat do.  I show her!  See wut I can do now?

[URL=]View My Video[/URL]
(This is mom...again....who can't figure out how to post a video.  So go here to see him do a new trick, it's worth it!!!) 

Original Video - More videos at TinyPic
Well, now dat you seed me do my amayzing jumps - iz tiym to annownsed my winnurs for dat All Hopped Up kontest, stay toon for da annownsement wut will be happun veree soon dis week.
Kisses and snuggles,
Buddy Dawg