Friday, June 25, 2010

Calling to order the first meeting of Sh*t Eaters Anonymous

Hullo, my naym is Buddy an' I iz a sh*t eetur.  Iz been 2 howers sins my last snakkies on da poo.  ::Hi Buddy::  Mom sed dis most delektabul treet iz not reely treet at all, iz most diskusting an' I bettur kwit.  Dis is why I joyn S.E.A.  I must brayk dis habit.  Furst step of S.E.A.

1.  We admit that we are powerless over sh*t - that our lives have become unmaneageable.

Well, dis is not all da way tru, see I liyks to eet da poo.  Da only stuffs wut is bettur is cheez.  Iz mom dat haz dis ishu.  Her iz alway say "Damnit Buddy, NO!"  "Buddy leave it."  Buddyyyyyyyyy - eh eh eh."  "Drop.  Drooooop. DROP IT!"
MMMMM, poo!!!

Harumph, I wud liyk to seed her drop a stayk or lobstur if I wud yelled at her.  No way, no how.  My liyk of da poo iz not unmanujibul eever.  I iz veree pickee on dis doodoo dat I chewchew. But ok mom, cuz I luv you - I will pawndur dis. 

Wut do you meen der is 12 steps????  Jeez.  Kin you not jus tayked my word?  Oh, rite - I sed I wud kwit eeted da poo before huh?  Ok, 11 more steps. We wud worked on wun step eech week until my deeziyr for poo is no more.  Dat iz most you kin asked of me, mom!

So, dis meeting of S.E.A. wud be tayk plays evury Friesday until I haz compleet all da steps and iz eet no more poo from da yard.  You, my bloggy frends, iz welkom to be membur if you wanted, but if you wud liyk to keep dem reefiyn tastes of da poo and no stop - trusted me, I gits it.
Are you a sh*t eater?  Well, are ya?

Also, last stuff for you wut is - - mom is leeve for SeeSiyd, Origun wen da sun comes up agin.  Sins she wud be goned we won't haz menne story of my advenchurs.  So we iz gonna do a "Ask Buddy Anything"!  You cud ask me (or my brudder dawg) kweshtuns abowt us and our life togever, or abowt trayning, or abowt bliyndees, or abowt why da sky is blew.  Wut ever you do wanted.  I wud answered dem kewshtuns all next week until mom getted home.

Kisses & Snuggles,
Buddy Dawg


  1. Dear Buddy Dawg,

    Please to don't eat da poo no mores cause ... yuck!

    Oh on to the question:

    Our cousin dawg jes goed blindees. She used to play and play and play wif her baybees but now she don't wants to play anymore. How did you come to likes to play agin? Thanks to you fer yer most excellent adviz we're sure.

    Bobo and Meja

  2. Um, so Buddy, I can't helps you with this poo-eating non-problem you seems to have. I don't likes to eat poo. You know how some peoples who try to quit smoking chew on a fake cigarette stick or a pen or something. Maybe you could carrys around something soft and squishy. Oh! Like maybe a dead mouse! Your mom would prolly like that better, don't you think?

    Um, and for my question. I was kinda wondering how you and your brudder gots adopted by your mom and how long you been there.

    Wiggles & Wags,

  3. Buddy Dawg I think we have a cure for you in 1 step! We used to belong to this club with our buther Sprocket (RIP). But the vet gave mom some treats to put in our food and viola! We didn't like poo any more! Mom says it make it taste nasty. and now we don't like poo any more, except Daisy who like to see if there are any appetizers in the cat box.

  4. Hello. My name is Stellaluna Shelia and I am a sh*t eater. My trigger food is cat poo right from the box.

    *sigh* Buddy, I think this is gonna be hard to do. 12 whole steps? My attention span is barely longer than my Mama's. For reals.

    Also, this whole Mama going away thing? I think my Mama might be doing that when it turns into tomorrow. Something about going to see some Broadway singin peoples. Am I not more entertaining?

    So yeah, my question: if my Mama does go aways tomorry how do I deal with it? What do you and Maxim do when your Mama goes away?

    -Stellaluna the poop connoisseur

  5. Momma says that all her girl dogs have been poop eaters, but not us guys. According to our vet, as long as it is just their poop (or doggie roommates without cooties) that it is not harmful, but it does produce kind of stinky breath.