Top Chef!

Mom haz desiyded dat mebbe part of my depressy is dat wen I is downstayrs and all da hyomans is up-da-stayrs I is lonely. And since I still doesn't do up, I only does going downstayrs dat I can't git to my hyomans all da tiym dat I wants to, and dis maked me sad. So now she putted me on wutever floor of da howse she is at. She always setted me down on rug so I knows wer I starts from and doesn't git konfused wer I am at.

Dis doesn't sownd so eksiting eksept for dis one ting. Reddy? I gits to helps her cook! Wut dis meens for me tonite is dat it is awesome job. I is a tayst testur. She chop da karruts, and den I gits to eatted some karrut to maked shure dat is okay for hyoman to eatted. And she kooked da chiken and I getted to tasted piece to make sure was not sowmunilla in it. I try to tell her dat der was sowmunilla in it so dat I cud haz it all, but she din't believed it. I haz one ishu wif dis job. I is tinks mebbe dat da kooking uhven is in kahoots wif da stayr monster.

Mom maked all dis yummy yummy foods, den she stik it in da uhven and is not coming out for very long tiym. I garded da uhven to maked sure was gonna gived da hyoman nommies back. It taked forever, but evenchewally mom did pulled da nommies out. I tink dat mebbe da uhven fiyted her for dem cuz she sed notty word and den putted her hand under water. Dis worry me for little bit, but not very long cuz I had job to do-dis was watch (I mean smell) da nommies to maked sure no one eatted dem dat wuz not 'llowed.

Well, and I waz tryed to figyur out how I cud eat dem before mom founded out....but she setted dem too hi for me to make very gud attempt. Big Dawg cud have helped me, but no mattur how much I tryed to git him to put it on da floor he wud not. He insisted dat gud big dawg duz not go in kichen, and definitely duz not eats nommies off da kownter. We wud haz to work on dis more, I cud benefit much biggur if he wud do dis kownter eats and sweeps. One tiym in trubbel is worth it, mebbe not for hims but for shore for me it wud be.

I doesn't knowed why he akts so hi and miyty cuz he duz stuffs dat he is not allowed, look wer mom katched him! He is not allowed to be heer cuz dis is hyoman cowch. He duz not looked remorseful tho.

If he is gonna be notty dawg he cud at least does it wif da nommies so I cud haz some too.

Kisses & Snuggles-Buddy Dawg